Multi-Purpose Lettuce

Apparently, this is a year of discovery.

Am I the only person who understands that there is a difference between salad & what we call in the south as "fixin's?" For those of you who are still uncertain, "fixin's" consists of the lettuce you would shred for a cheeseburger or something of the sort.

Twice now I have been given a "salad" made of "fixin's."
I think to myself that they must have had leftovers to where it was necessary to utilize what I affectionately deemed "multi-purpose lettuce."

Now, the first time I ignored it. Of course I made a comment about it that day at lunch. I am prone to have a comment on just about anything. That's just me.

On Sunday night we went to eat in Oroville at a Mexican restaurant. I became nostalgic when I noticed that here in California they had on the menu what they called a "Texas Taco." Naturally I felt obligated to order it. That's home. So I did and was delightfully informed that my order came with a salad. Awesome.

Well, I sit down with everyone and they bring my salad to me. It just happened to be a very small bowl of this shredded lettuce with oil and vinegar dressing. Nothing more. Tiny strips of lettuce. No croutons. Nothing.

As I looked at my bowl, I imagined the cook back in the kitchen cramming heads of lettuce into a paper shredder. His pointy teeth showing as he laughed...all the while collecting the remains for their so-called salads.

But what can I say? It was complimentary. I, on the other hand, took offense. Even my "Texas Taco" was more of this lettuce than anything else. Did I become a vegetarian without informing myself? Needless to say.....it was a disappointment. I'm still recovering.

What's next? Diced dinner rolls?


Holly Genevieve said...

this is hilarious!!! Seriously, I was laughing so hard...ahhh I look forward to your posts.

Kevin Timothy Evans said...

Haha. Diced dinner rolls would be fun to eat!

My ADHD Me said...

A head of lettuce is not a salad.
Then again....maybe it is...

Your letter is "J"

Sis K said...

sis amber, you are to funny! i love you...see you sunday! hey... wanna go out for a salad??